It didn’t say that in the brochure

As I may have mentioned once or twice, recently I turned 30. As a tribute to this I have written myself a bucket list. The list covered everything from moving into my new apartment and living independently, to being a contestant on a TV gameshow, Learning to successfully cook something other than spaghetti Bolognese or stirfry, writing a book and finally doing my skydive. It also included having a hot stone massage.

I didn’t show this list to anyone, nor did I divulge what it contained. Yet on the morning of my birthday, along with a myriad of other goodies what did I find? A voucher for that very thing.

My Mum must be psychic, how did she know? My hints were so subtle. All I did was constantly grab my back and groan “I need a hot stone massage” for an entire week. She’s so clever!

The experience was not what I expected.

As I emerged from the change room wearing nothing but my undies, my very well worn cherry red Docs and a soft, burgundy coloured robe I could not have felt less attractive. that was until I entered the lounge.

There I was greeted by a very attractive young woman (presumably waiting for her own treatments)’ wearing exactly what I was minus the Docs. “why are there always scantily clad hot women around when I’m half naked in public?” I thought to myself. (See post I can’t swim! And other things I’ve learnt this week)

After a few uncomfortable minutes of awkward smiles and some furious tugging on my robe in a futile attempt to try and cover my legs, it was showtime.

I would let into a room lit predominantly by candles, there was soft jazz playingand a scent of perfume in the air. Then I was asked to remove my robe and make myself comfortable on the bed. I was slightly nervous.

Now, I assumed that a hot stone massage was solely for your back and perhaps The shoulders. I was wrong, it was a full body massage. I jumped so high when she began to massage my leg and I squeaked “don’t touch my feet”. No one touches my feet! I must have frightened The poor woman because she was very Hesitant to touch me for a while after that.

As I slowly started to relax I took stock of my situation and surrounding.s. I was in my underwear, on a bed feeling nervous and being awkwardly touched (obviously in a slightly different way) for the first time. What did this remind me of? Although on that occasion there were no candles, the music was better (Arctic Monkeys from memory) and I actually knew and was very fond of the company.

It didn’t say that in the brochure. Possibly I’m not a day spa person.



One thought on “It didn’t say that in the brochure

  1. Haha! Excellent honest post. You are definitely a spa person. Go back for seconds but remember to tell the practitioner to leave your feet alone. They do understand, you know. X

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