3 Giant Lessons

For those of you not living in Western Australia or who have been living under a rock, as part of the Perth International Arts Festival we have recently been visited by Giants. A six metre tall “little” girl and an 11 metre tall diver who just so happens to be her uncle. I, like 1.7 million of my fellow Sandgropers went to check them out.

This is what I learnt…

1. Snoring IS cute:
Apparently I snore (yes gentleman I am available). I have been led to believe that this is not necessarily an attractive quality. However this may not actually be correct.
The poor little girl was made to roam the streets for two days straight all by herself (if you don’t count the ever growing crowd of spectators following her every move) in search of her uncle. It is a big(ish) city and she is only a child so it stands to reason that she would be in need of a nap. When I saw her she was snoozing peacefully in Weld Square looking adorable and, she was snoring!

Now, some might say it’s only cute when she does it because she’s a little girl. But she is 6 m tall and I am only 149cm so join your own dots.

2. The city of Perth needs more public toilets:
After I lost my eyesight and some of my hearing I gained a tremendous sense of smell. Sometimes this is a good thing, other times not so much. It seems that early on a Saturday morning is one of those times.

I realise that when you’ve gotta go you’ve gotta go. But, there are only two periods in one’s life where public urination is not exactly acceptable but it is at least understandable, and thankfully both of them usually coincide with the wearing of a diaper. If you are not young enough or old enough that this applies to you then for goodness sake find a toilet!

If anyone from the city of Perth is reading this, installing extra public toilets may be a good idea. Even the little girl was forced to make an emergency pitstop in the middle of the road and, because of a lack of available toilets, her followers were then forced to walk through it

3. Having people pull your strings can sometimes be helpful:
In primary school we had the rule “no hat no play”. I always resented this rule but now I think it’s probably a good idea.
When the “adorable” little girl went past me in her boat, her deckhands decided that would be a good time to empty it and I was the lucky recipient. I have no idea how much water there was but I was wet to the skin and of course it was one of the few Perth summer days under 30°C not to mention overcast and very windy. I was freezing!

So I decided to stand in the sun for about half an hour. It worked, I got dry. But unfortunately I also have the complexion of a cooked lobster and a nose so red that it earned me the nickname “Nina the red nose reindeer”. Strangely I been receiving calls to my mobile from an unknown number ever since. I half expected it to be Santa enquiring as to whether I would be available to guide his sleigh while Rudolph takes a few weeks off. But sadly a quick search on Google revealed it was just telemarketers.

It was my first ever proper sunburn and I got a mild heatstroke to boot. Next time I will remember to slip slop slap!



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