The Doc’s Advice

WARNING:

If you put on your new pair of Doc Marten’s and they are; A. Soft, B. easy to put on and C. Not painful after only 1 month of wear then there is a good chance that it is not the new pair that you are wearing.

If you are experiencing these symptoms on one foot but not the other, or if you begin to notice physical symptoms such as scratches, lack of lustre or apparent redness which is localised to one shoe, please consult your mirror immediately! These could be signs that your shoes do not match.

Causes may include; being in a hurry, getting dressed in darkness (often unavoidable when you are vision impaired), not paying attention or a combination of all three.

To avoid further exacerbation of this condition, which may result in your shoes no longer matching your bag and the ruining of an otherwise very stylish outfit. It is recommended that you remain quarantined so as to avoid exposure to the general public.

If you experience a sudden onset, and exposure to the general public is unavoidable (i.e. you went to work with 1 black and 1 red boot on and didn’t notice until you got there), affirmative action is required. Failure to act immediately may result in embarrassment, ridicule and the inability to ever live it down.

In the event that you do not have access to a matching pair of shoes and you are wearing a knee-length dress, making camouflage impossible, it is important to remain calm and call for assistance.

If you are lucky (or you are a spoilt little princess), the male parental unit may be dispatched to issue a replacement shoe. In this instance remove the shoe that does not match and replace it, making sure to apply a liberal amount of grovelling to the unit in question.

You may experience side effects such as teasing and “Dad” jokes for several days post the resolution of this condition. This is completely normal and should subside within 7 – 10 days.

To avoid a recurrence of miss-matched shoes we recommend that you actually get up when your alarm sounds and pay closer attention to what you are doing.

If symptoms persist consult your personal stylist.

XOXO

 

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