A year ago today I attempted my first abseil down the QV1 building in the Perth CBD. A week ago today I tried it again. What a difference a year makes!
Long story short (a first for me I know) this time, I actually did it.
I had everything going for me on this attempt. I had a super supportive instructor in Rob (I have never met anyone so encouraging. I am thinking of hiring him to follow me around all the time now). Miraculously I was feeling well (despite being unwell with suspected kidney stones just days before). And the weather was good.
I had been planning this attempt in my head all week, determined to do it all by myself this time. That was my measure of success.
In my mind, last year I failed. Not that anyone else thought so though. I kept being told, “you stepped off the top, that’s more than I could do.” But that wasn’t enough.
What people don’t understand is, I don’t do things to impress them. I do these things to prove to myself that I can.
Although this can’t be strictly true. otherwise I wouldn’t brag about it on my social media channels (did I mention my blog has its own Facebook page?).
I have just realised that I posted my “success” photo almost immediately after. Mentioning that it only took me less than five minutes (The time is still a subject of debate) and that I did it completely by myself.
But I neglected to mention (or thank) the people who donated to my cause which allowed me to qualify for the abseil in the first place
I completely forgot about the reason I was doing the abseil to begin with.
Oh my god! Am I a narcissist? It’s probably narcissistic to ask that.
By the way, thank you to everyone who so generously donated to my fundraising for the Perth Children’s Hospital. I am very proud to announce that with your help I raised almost $1,000.
Thank you especially to Revolution Pilates who allowed me to post a begging flyer on the wall of the studio.
The problem is, I am so used to being congratulated for wiping my own bottom that when I actually do something worthwhile I can’t help but brag. And even worse than that, I get a kick out of it.
Dear God, help me, I’m Donald Trump!
Ironically, by putting this down on paper I am going to get (having said it, it would be very embarrassing if I didn’t) people leaping to my defence. And the cycle continues… Aargh!
Where is the line? On the one hand, isn’t pride one of the seven deadly sins? But on the other hand, if you don’t respect yourself enough to be proud of your own achievements then you are effectively sending out a product that (at least to you) is below par. That’s not being respectful to others. You wouldn’t deliberately give someone a rotten apple, would you?
My head hurts!
Oh screw it! The fact is I did actually did it (Come on, you didn’t think I wasn’t going to brag a little bit did you?).
I did cheat a bit though. I can’t even walk 160 m in less than half an hour. How on earth did you expect me to be able to abseil that far in under five? Without falling that is.
I had to admit that my legs were pretty useless. So I abseiled with my hands. No, I didn’t do a handstand all the way down. I simply sat back in my harness and lowered myself hand over hand with the rope (I think that’s how people in wheelchairs do it). It proved to be quite effective. I’m thinking of getting around that way all the time now.
I was quite thankful that I am a girl though, if you get my drift.
When I got to the bottom I couldn’t stop smiling. And my (dare I say it), fan club who had come out to watch me and were screaming their support the whole time, only made my smile bigger.
I had mentioned a few weeks ago that after I did my skydive in October 2014 I have never been able to find a rush like that again.
At last I think I have found one.