Being disabled, and funny-looking, people often assume that I am asexual, and not necessarily by choice. SPOILER ALERT! I am not.
You may also be surprised to learn, despite my uniqueness I actually get a lot of attention online dating. Toot toot toot.
But, some interactions are better than others. These are my top three online dating nightmares.
1. Can I help you?
I once had a guy message me out of the blue, saying ‘I hope I am not giving you false hope, but I’d love to take you out for coffee to discuss your dating issues and see how I can help you.’ I politely declined. I don’t drink coffee.
Ironically, after receiving this message I had a look at his profile, and honestly I wouldn’t have given him a second look.
Sadly, this is not a one-off. So many people (once discovering that I am disabled and thus, not a dating prospect), offer to ‘stay in touch’ in case I need help with anything. AS long as that’s all though!
You’d think it’d be flattering. Funnily enough, it’s not. Nor is it genuine. Actually, it’s cowardly.
To be clear, I was on the site to find a relationship, not a carer!
2. Can you help me?
I was chatting to a guy, and once online became over the phone, I realised he was THE MOST BORING MAN IN HISTORY, (even with the lovely French accent). Plus, we had been chatting for more than a month, but he had no desire to meet (red flag!). Anyway, eventually he had to go on a ‘work trip’ to the USA for six weeks (he’s a ‘Geologist’), and wouldn’t you know it, he lost his credit card in transit. Can you see where this is going? Of course you can, he asked me for $5000 (which he would pay me straight back) so he could finish his contract. I said no, and I never heard from him again. I wish I knew why, that budding relationship seemed so promising!
Then there are the guys who think they spot my disability immediately, (well done Sherlock), and hit me up for what I once heard described as a ‘fascination fuck.’ Indeed, I even had someone message me to say he’d never slept with a disabled person before, but I could be the lucky lady. “I’ll bring protection,’ he charmingly added. Maybe I should be on Only Fans?
Needless to say, there are also the trolls who get their jollies from insulting my appearance and intelligence. Lest I forget the smooth guy who sent me the message simply saying “what’s wrong with you face?” Amazingly, his incredible wit and immense bravery, not to mention excellent grammar
didn’t win me over either.
It’s not all bad though. There are also some lovely people to meet online too.
Never-the-less, thank goodness that part of my life is over!