Happy New Year! It is finally 2021…thank fuck for that!
All through Damion’s cancer fight, Friends, family, and colleagues etc. told me to look after myself, but no one could explain to me what that meant. I mean, I fed and watered myself, had a roof over my head, and kept up with my bills easily (thanks to my evidently COVID-proof job). I had heating/cooling, electricity, clean and hot water , and access to good medical and mental health care. That is more than a lot of others. What else can I ask for?
Perplexed, I asked my funky, and terribly clever GP. She reckons that what I am missing, is a focus on me, Nope, still confused. See above.
That is, a need to take time regularly to do whatever it is that makes me happy and helps me to relax, just because. Ah, Okay. Since its doctor’s orders.
For the record, in hindsight, I probably could have worked this out for myself. I just needed, (or wanted), someone to grant me permission.
I am not really a resolution-maker, usually because by the end of the first week, my solemn vow to stop swearing/go to bed early every night/replace chocolate with sultanas, has gone out the window. And who needs that guilt? This year though, I might make an exception. I will replace the chocolate with grapes instead.
Actually, I was thinking, as this year I find myself in possession of oodles of time I never had before, I might indeed be selfish, sorry, try and focus on me. Further, I might not feel guilty about it!
So what does this mean for me? Well, first I must decide what makes me happy and/or relaxed. Let us see…
- Being creative, I.E. blogging is cathartic, and fun for me, it is where I find my ‘flow.’ Plus, sharing my work with others, and knowing it is being read, (and occasionally enjoyed) is very uplifting.
- Going out to live shows, concerts etc., or anything that involves food, with people who I know enjoy my company (and who’s company I enjoy), , rather than those who think they are doing me a favour, or doing a grand act of charity by “getting me out of the house,” (yes, I can tell, its why I keep saying no to you).
NOTE: I have a hearing aid, so loud venues/restaurants make it virtually impossible for us to communicate, which makes me feel anxious and stupid. This could be why I have said no to your invitation, but it is probably not.
- Doing nothing and being by myself. I deal with big changes/ emotional turmoil better if I am left to my own devices. It is the only time I feel free to switch off or react in the way I need to without be feeling the need to explain or apologize.
- . Exercising. A friend recently told me that exercise is a great way to regulate my mood and de-stress. She is so right. Also, I get a kick out of challenging my limits.
- Davie and Auntie Nina time. Speaking of a workout, when was the last time you hung out with a toddler? My Auntiedom is probably my favourite thing about me . It is almost impossible to have a bad time around my Nephew David. If not for the fact that he finds me hilarious (he is obviously a genius), then because hours and hours of keeping him entertained, and playing imaginary games with him,(often with my South Park figurines), is a great distraction from my troubles. I mainly credit him with getting me through losing Damion.
AUNTIE BRAG: At not quite two, Dave has worked out that he cannot lead me around by the finger like he can everyone else. So, when he wants me to go with him, he brings me Cecily, (my walking frame), Says where he wants to go (i.e., toys or playdough), and drags me by the frame instead. Yep, genius!
But I digress.
Okay, keeping in mind the list above, and acknowledging its not exhaustive, here is how I plan to focus on m this yeare:
- I have neglected my creativity of late. Time to get back to regular musings. I also really love podcasts, perhaps I might give on a go.
- There is some life-changing surgery on the cards, which I am quite excited about. When I am ready, I will let you know all about it. No, I am not having a boob job. Perhaps next year LOL.
3.I have acquired a nemesis who I would quite like to eradicate. Sadly, I am not clever enough to kill Cancer myself , so I need to raise funds to give to people who hopefully can. Time to take on an abseil down a 160 metre skyscraper again I think.
4. I would also like to do a zip line, perhaps off our newest bridge in the Swan River? just because I have never done one and, it seems like fun. While I am there, perhaps another afternoon of Jetboating would be nice.
5. I should also keep up with my weekly gym and pilates sessions, no matter how I am feeling on the day. I have noticed biceps lately. Welcome to the gun show!!
6.I had a facial and relaxation massage for my birthday, which was so relaxing, I almost fell asleep. Miraculously I was able to switch off in the presence of another. Amazing, as not being a touchy-feely person, I usually hate being massaged. I Would not mind doing that again, and again, and again, and…you get the idea. For medical reasons, of course.
7. Now, obviously I have been fishing, but it occurred to me last night that I have never caught a fish I can eat. This is absurd, given how much I love fish and seafood. As a tween, I used to fish off the jetty of my Uncle’s beach house with my cousin quite a lot. But We only ever caught blowfish and the occasional (accidental) crab. Let us add catching an edible fish to the list for good measure. It would be good to see if I can still fish. .
8. Finally, (and possibly most importantly), this year I will only spend time with those who treat me well, and as an equal. I was not put on this earth to make others feel good about themselves. Especially when it comes at the expense of how I feel myself!
Anything you think I should add?